Going for Broke

I met a student, last night, who was studying for the LSAT. The student said that she studied for 7-months and that the LSAT was in June. This jogged my memory concerning my studies for the LSAT which I took after the Princeton Review and after operating a study group of women in Stamford, Connecticut. Every weekend, for 6-months, we got together and did essays and exercises to prepare for the LSAT. I took the LSAT once, passed with a decent (not stellar) score and applied for law school but of the four women, I was the only one to take the exam and to apply for, get accepted and attend law school.

I hesitated when I met this young woman and wondered if I should take her aside and say, “This is a long, hard road. There can be no tougher profession than the law, except, perhaps, medicine, and then law firms are turning to paralegals who are assuming more responsibilities at less expensive rates. And, once you graduate from law school (if you get in), you have another hurdle to jump over (the bar exam). Are you sure that you want to take this path? Are you absolutely sure?”

Today, I’m like a friend I meet one year ago, a friend from my school. My friend was broke, living in a tiny apartment in Berkeley, and unexpectedly (and very) pregnant(fortunately, we don't share this in common). She took the bar exam four times (and failed each time). Saddled in debt and hugely round with baby, she didn’t want to speak about the bar exam, or law school . . . she had given up.

But, although I am also living in a room, and find myself selling my cherished study aides and law books, and paring down my belongings in preparation to move. . .and although I am on a financial precipice, just barely able to tread water and keep my head above it, I am “going for broke.” (Note the double-entendre.)

Balancing a temporary job for the U.S. Government where I am managing a small team of wizened men, I am somehow able to squeeze in 4-5 hours of study time a day and have managed my way through the MBE subjects (Contracts, Sales, Real Property, Evidence, Con Law, Crim Law/Crim Pro), sailed past Civ Pro (practical training and actual work in the law is a great assist), and am moving into Community Property, I am gathering steam. And, all the while I am putting things into perspective – I am pursuing my dream in the face of it all. Sometimes, the stress of daily life (and not of the bar exam) awakens me with whispers of fear. . .can I do this? Can I make it until July 27th? If I can only make it until then, I can forgo the rest and retreat to family until I can regroup.

Perhaps meeting a man, last night, puts my life into better perspective. This man stood on his front stoop, holding onto the door jamb for support, and told me how his car was hit by an uninsured driver. Spine, neck and pelvis injured, this man was in a coma for a few months, and immobilized for a few years while the medical team fused his spine over three separate operations. During this time, his wife and son were killed in a different automotive accident, and yet this man had such a strong will to live that he fueled his passion not only into self-healing but into rescuing animals battered by their owners. I walked away amazed by his passion for life. And, then I realized how fortunate I am. . .and how fortunate I am to be able to realize my dreams and to have my health. Comparatively, the bar exam is small blip in life. . .a series of moments leading to a license which leads to a dream fulfilled.