Delving In

After dusting off my bar study book - a BIG 3-ring binder with each of the MBE and California subjects tested - I decided to begin with criminal law.

It seemed like familiar territory and I am now beginning to remember reciting the black letter rules. "Tresspassory taking and carrying away of another person's property with intent to permanently deprive them of such property." Larceny.

I remember how I had stumbled over the difference of assault and battery in tort versus criminal law and how homicide, that multi-dimensional aspect of murder or killing of another, escaped me. My patient bar study partner had to help me understand what had alluded me about the hierarchy of homicide. I had the chart that he made in my BAR BIBLE.

While criminal law is easy for most, it seems to be more elusive for me to understand. My mind is better spent with contracts than torts, with civil procedure rather than criminal procedure. Thus, I decided if I was going to delve right in, I should tackle those subjects that are more difficult for me.

I began with retyping the rules in a more succinct format and in the hierarchy that my bar tutor had formulated. Handwritten notes are now crisply encapsulated on the page. Now that I have my neat section on criminal law, I will apply my "refreshed recollection" to testing my knowledge on the MBE's. Ten MBE's per day is my goal - or 2,000 MBE's before the bar (or more). Flash cards for the one's that I missed.

I know that it is quality before quantity but then, on Monday I begin to work for an attorney whose mind is like a steel trap. He passed the bar on the first try. How? He did not review the law from Bar Bri books. He did 4,000 MBE's before the exam so that he knew every pattern "in the book." He had 15 minutes to spare after taking 200 MBE's during exam day. He also printed out every bar exam essay for 10 years, and every model answer, and studied the patterns in the essays. He typed every rule from each essay until he had analyzed the patterns in these essays. When he walked out of the exam, he knew that he had passed and he didn't look back. He looked forward to starting his own practice.

Dusting Off the Books...Bar Books, That Is!

Nothing could have prepared me for life's "adventure" after the California Bar Exam last February 2009. In a down market economy, I had the impression that I could still prevail, secure new employment, and make a go at it. I was both right and wrong.

I did work as a contract paralegal, researching and writing motions that (mostly) won or encouraged settlement. This was great experience, but my caseload was inconsistent...feast or famine...and earned me a wage considered by most to be at "poverty" levels.

I looked for work consistently, each time being called "overqualified" because I'm no "spring chicken" (albeit I look fairly young), but mainly because I have a J.D. on my resume (along with an M.B.A.) Overqualified to be a paralegal, not licensed to be an attorney.

I moved from my great little loft apartment (which I could no longer afford) into a 10' x 10' room in a house whose owner was served with notice of default a few days after I moved in. The electricity was shut off, one day, and thankfully restored. Creditor's call consistently during the day, punctuating the peaceful setting...such that there is no repose in this lovely environment...repose sorely needed to study for the bar exam.

In a last ditch attempt, I screwed up my courage and sent an appeal to family, friends and colleagues, pledging great work for little pay, or to beat a hasty retreat to family in country which is bitter cold in winter. While that country is lovely in its starkness, I crave the California sun, and even the fog that rolls in at night, sound of the horns on the great ships in the Bay.

It was this cry for help that turned into a full-time job as an office manager/paralegal in a real office (and not my virtual office) with people contacts, and clients, and the chiropractor down the hall. And, while my wage will be small, the learning will be great. I'm looking forward to "cutting my teeth" in this solo practitioner's busy office and building the infrastructure for his business, something that my corporate training and marketing skills will be valuable for. Plus, once I have passed the bar (and I'm aiming to pass it!), my license in my hand, I will know how to set up my own practice. There will be a world of possibilities!

Least I wax too philosophic, I have no time to waste! Today marks the first day where I put my game plan into place and begin the long journey toward the Feb. 2010 bar. Want to come along with me?

Seeing the Results

For those who took the MPRE, congratulations! The exam (and the detailed, blow by blow description about how to fill out the scantron sheet hour long preliminaries) are done! "WE DID IT!" Results should be out after 5-weeks, or sometime as early as the week of September 14, 2009.

If you did not pass the MPRE exam, the next exam is on November 7, 2009 with an application deadline of September 29, 2009 and a late application deadline of Oct. 15, 2009.

For those of you who took the California Bar Exam in July 2009, "YOU DID IT!" Results are scheduled to be mailed to applicants on Friday, November 20, 2009. Access to the pass list will be available to applicants through the Internet beginning Friday, November 20, 2009, at 6:00 p.m. on the State Bar’s home page at www.calbar.ca.gov.

For those of you who will be taking the California Bar Exam in February 2010, the exam will begin on Feb. 23rd and end on Feb. 25th. You can apply to take the exam on October 1, 2009.

Good Luck on the MPRE!

For the thousands of law school students and law graduates alike, the MPRE is just around the corner. We will go, butterflies perhaps, en mass to take the exam this Friday.

Aside from the FREE PLI and KAPLAN MPRE materials which are both excellent, I discovered today that the NCBE has a link to outdated on-line MPRE exams. However, they also offer a new 60 question on-line exam for $24.00. (See link on sidebar) Having taken this on-line exam today, I would give the software 4.5 of 5.0 stars. One can take the exam timed or untimed, and receive a written report of the results which includes an analysis of why your answer is correct or incorrect. While you are not told the correct answer, you can retake the exam until all the answers are correct. It's great to see the bar examiners offering "with it" software with questions and answers in the current format. If you can spare $24.00, you might want to take this on-line practice exam before the "real deal."

For those of you taking the MPRE on Friday, I'll be taking the exam right along with you. Good luck fellow test takers and future attorneys!

Change of Venue

Having taken the California Bar exam for the first-time in Feb. 2009, I am now beginning to slowly gear up for the Feb. 2010 bar exam. It has been quite a life's journey during the past year since graduating from law school in May 2008.

On the one hand, I now have one year's experience as a solo paralegal. I have written motions and settlement conference statements, I've been in court. I've scheduled hearings, filed motions, served notice and even written a respondent's brief in appellate court. I've dealt with staff attorneys in family court. I've photographed experts do their work. I've reviewed case files and done discovery. In short, I've gotten a taste of what it is like to be an attorney, all the while mentored by licensed attorneys who have exhibited tremendous faith in my abilities. I am not perfect; I am learning, but I am surprisingly good at what I do. I've taken to the law like a duck takes to water.

Moreover, some firms are beginning to take a chance on me, at least as it relates to interviews. But, the hue and cry is that I am "over qualified" to be a paralegal (but not being licensed, I am not qualified to be an attorney.) One particularly interesting interview was with the partner of a law firm (to remain nameless) whose firm name was displayed on an 8" x 10" piece of paper and taped to a glass door. The neighborhood in which the office was located was "iffy." While the partner seemed gentile and his office was surprisingly tasteful, his business seemed one notch up from Grisham's portrayal of ambulance chasers. Even to this partner, I was "over qualified." But, then, I got a feeling in the pit of my stomach viewing his office from across the street, that something was wrong, and that this was not a firm that I would feel comfortable working for. So, as a result, I am beginning to feel that "over qualified" means "too old" for our firm, or company. And, that it is only with my own firm that I can really make a go of it.

Having recently downsized from a nice apartment to a 10' x 10' room, and surrounded by my computer, printers and bar exam material, I found myself too uncomfortably close as a first-hand witness to foreclosure. Heretofore, and having dealt with a case concerning foreclosure equity fraud, I had a more remote understanding of the process. Unsettling to the homeowner, it is also unsettling to me as a renter. I need a basis of stability to study for this upcoming bar exam; this includes where I live. I need to know that the rug isn't going to be pulled out from under me, too.

I may need to go home to reside with family and leave the mountains and the sea behind; these elements of nature restore my soul. Can I find peace again by drinking a cup of hot cocoa while all around me the world is encased in snow?

Can I make it here in California?

Managing Credit Card Debt in California

Since many (if not most) law school students or J.D.'s (or attorneys) are saddled with student loans, I thought that the following information would be topical:

California Dept of Consumer Affairs presented a 3 hour Web cast on managing credit card debt.

Download their Consumer Connections Special Issue on Credit Card debt.

http://www.dca.ca.gov/

The DCA also had representatives from two non-profit credit card counseling agencies and one credit union - See links on my sidebar under "Managing Credit Card Debt."

The Power of Intention

This morning, I awakened early to continue to pack my belongings and to furtively clean my apartment in anticipation of a "walk-through." On one hand, since I will be renting a room from a friend, I am happy to embrace our friendship, share stories and laundry detergent. But, I have been dreading the process of moving - most of my belongings are packed, and the rest are slated for storage - still, more packing must be done and then there is the need to rent a truck, organize a crew, and unload my belongings at a storage facility. It has taken much self-talk to push myself to do this. On the other hand, downsizing, selling my belongings, living lean is freeing.

Last evening, I began to watch Dr. Dyer's "Power of Intention" on PBS (see sidebar). I've always found him motivating. After watching his message, I felt connected to something greater than myself. I am not religious. I suppose that I would call myself loosely spiritual. I listened to his message again, this morning, while I was scouring the bathtub, cleaning out the refrigerator, and packing more boxes.

If I changed my attitude and believed that everything that I want (that is good, and just and fair) will come to me, perhaps this is what will occur. And, what occurred after changing my attitude is so unusual that I have decided to write to you - the anonymous and silent reader - about it.

Having an injury, I have been working with a yoga practitioner. Last week I informed her that due to “economic circumstances,” I can no longer afford to practice with her. She has been instrumental in my healing and I regret not being able to take her classes. But, this morning she called me and offered me a trade - my marketing services for yoga classes – and I accepted.

And, the cable company reduced my internet costs by 50%, so necessary to my business.

I sent out a list of belongings for sale to my friends and sold them within an hour.

And, a friend graciously volunteered to help me move (when I was afraid to ask).

And, a former employer volunteered to write a letter of recommendation (and I never approached her with this request.)

It occurred to me that we - as bar exam takers - should approach the bar exam with the intention to SUCCEED at passing the exam, replacing our old self-talk which expressed fear about our own abilities, and dread about actually taking the exam, with JOY. Yes, the JOY that comes with passing…The pure joy that comes with securing a license to practice the law.

For another part of Dyer's message that resonated with me is that we have a purpose to life, a purpose to serve. And, it is this purpose that drives me (not money, or power or fame) to want to be an attorney. (I am still an idealist, even though I am also a beaten down corporate escapee who knows the ways of the business world.)

And, to serve, I shall commit myself to ENJOY the process of studying the law again with the intent to PASS the California bar exam (when I take it in Feb. 2010). And, I believe that the power of my intention together with my commitment to study for the exam with a better understanding about how to meet the standards of the bar examiners, will see me with my license in hand next June 2010.

I look forward to walking down the aisle to be sworn in, and maybe, just maybe, I'll walk down another aisle carrying Calla lilies and dressed in a femme fatale satin wedding dress. Did I mention that I was single? :)

There's No Such Word as Can't

Growing up, I remember saying to my Mom or Dad, "I can't do it! I just can't!"

I would be admonished, "There's no such word as CAN'T in our vocabularly. You CAN do it."

And, this would usually result in my parent's bringing out the book, "The Little Red Engine." For those of you who have not read this book, it's about a little red railroad engine whose job it became to bring toys over a mountain to the waiting children on the other side. No other engines were available and it had only been BIG engines that were assigned this important duty.

So, the story goes, the little engine hooked itself up to the waiting railroad cars filled with toys and he began to pull the cars up the mountain, but it was V-E-R-Y HARD to do. The engine wasn't strong enough. So he puffed, and he pulled, and he began to slowly move those cars all the way saying, "I think I can. I think I can. I think I can DO IT!" And, as he gathered steam, he struggled, and he pulled, and he DID pull those cars over the mountain to the children on the other side.

There was a recent post about the word, "Failure," on another blog post about the bar exam. The author does not like the word. This stimulated me to think about the Little Red Engine that Could.

It's takes this same determination to study for and take the bar exam until one passes as it took the Little Red Engine to climb the mountain. There are numerous instances of people who have been seemingly undaunted in their effort to climb over that mountain. From a woman, Paula, who passed the exam on her 14th try to the man whom legend has it passed the exam on his 43rd try. Doing a preliminary examination of my BAR SURVEY RESULTS, there have been some who have passed the exam on their 2nd, 3rd, and 4th or better try. To do this, these exam takers had the grit, determination and desire to pass the exam and to become an attorney and nothing was going to stop them! Certainly, not one little ol' bar exam.

So, for those of you who are studying for the July 2009 bar exam, you CAN climb over the mountain. Keep focused, keep practicing, and know that you CAN do anything.

P.S. We have 40 people who have taken my Bar Exam Survey (and lots of tips from them) and 15 people who have taken my MBE Survey.

NOTE: The California Bar Exam survey will be removed from this blog by end of day, Friday, June 19, 2009.

I'll publish the survey results on this blog, once each survey has 35 or more respondents, so don't be shy, make your opinion known!

CALIFORNIA Bar Exam Survey

Click Here to take survey

MBE Survey

Click Here to take survey

What Went Wrong?

Yesterday, a friend of mine who took the Feb. 2009 Californa Bar exam called me and asked, "What went wrong?"

Although I hit a high point on my written scores (70), I also hit some lows (50). I, too, wondered what went wrong. And, after feeling like I so missed the mark, rubbing my face in my wounds (so to speak) wasn't something that I was ready to do. But, then my friend called and said, "My essays are good, no, they are great!" And, he read his answer and the model answer, issue by issue, and I had to agree. His essay was great! So, then, what went wrong?

Having done copious study of the blogs and their commentary, of the "repeaters" group on Yahoo, and being privy to an interview with bar graders, I have gleaned some insights. This bar exam experience which I spent a small fortune on and a significant investment of my time, and which ended in failure, has become a focal point in my life. So, what exactly went wrong?

Given my research, I had some suggestions to share with my friend (and which I will apply to my own essay results) and these included the following:

1. Print out the "model" answer from the State Bar web site. Compare, issue by issue, your exam essay to the model answers. Did you hit every issue? Which issues did you fail to include?

2. Check out the model answers written by various bar tutors/review courses and available through THE RECORDER. See Links on the sidebar - Cal Bar Exam.

3. Provide your answers to a private tutor or to Bargarders.com to have a professional diagnose your answers. (I am not affliated with bargarders but I have heard good things about their service.) You need to know, specifically, what went wrong.

4. I've recapped an interview with some former bar graders. See below:

HOW DOES THE BAR GRADER PROCESS WORK?

Fourteen graders per subject
Bar graders are not experts in the subject
Individual bar graders write their own analysis to each essay and provide it to the state bar
One week later, the graders come together to share their independent analysis
They determine the minimally competent answer
This process occurs after the bar examination has been given
The bar graders select a sample of blue books and grade the books
Then the bar graders determine the templated answer

See link on sidebar - Cal Bar Grading Process

WHAT ARE THE EXAM SCORES?

Scores range from 45 to 90
Scores of 80 and above are rare
Scores are assigned in 5 point increments
The minimum passing score is 65 statistically; however, an average essay passing score is 62

WHAT MAKES A PASSING ANSWER?

IRAC
Developed analysis related to the facts in the essay
Application of each of the facts to the rule of law
Don’t simply recite the facts but use them to drive your analysis
Logical organization of your analysis
Know the black letter rule cold
BarBri’s Conviser is great source for the rules; 90% of the essays cite these rules. When rules are cited from other sources, it may cause the grader to stop and rethink the rule.

HOW MUCH TIME IS SPENT ON EACH BLUE BOOK?

The average is 3 minutes

WHEN DOES RE-READ OCCUR?

When the total overall score is between 1390 and 1440

WHAT ARE COMMON MISTAKES BAR GRADERS FIND ON EXAMS?

The issue is found
The rule is cited
The conclusion is provided
But there is no analysis

Legal theories are collapsed in one discussion
Regurgitation of the facts without analysis

ARE ISSUES WEIGHTED EQUALLY?

No, there are major and minor issues. If you’ve missed a major issue or if you failed to devote much analysis to a major issue, this will negatively impact your grade.

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO PREPARE FOR THE ESSAY ANALYSIS?

Practice writing as many essays as you can for every bar tested subject under timed conditions. Get written feedback on your practice exams from an objective source.

After recapping this interview, I mused...

Couldn't something still go wrong? I experienced this in law school where the professor added the scores incorrectly and when the registar actually posted the wrong grade! While the process seems judicious, don't the bar graders also make mistakes?

As I have collected these various and sundry insights, I am also continuing to interview private tutors whom I think might work best for me. My starting point, however, will be MBE's, since gaining points in this area is a skill that does not come naturally to me and will be significantly more difficult for me to improve. In September, I will concentrate on preparing for the written portion of the bar exam in combination with shorter focus on MBE's to keep my skills sharp.

In February 2010, I should have a much better understanding about what it takes to win this game and an attitude that crys, "GAME ON!"

Please click below to take my survey on your Cal Bar exam experience:

Click Here to take survey

Passing the MPRE

The MPRE exam is Friday, August 7, 2009 and I will be one of those few people who took the bar exam who still need to take the MPRE.

Although from a scan of blogs about the MPRE, the test is considered either easy to "tricky" according to a Harvard Law blog, no multiple choice test for me is without challenge. In fact, according to my high school supervisor, I was told that I was "too dumb to go to college." Although I was on the Dean's List, my ACT scores were abysmal. Perhaps, however, I should thank this woman since after crying, I decided that she was wrong, emphatically wrong. So, go to college I did, and graduate school, too. But, I know that multiple choice questions are still my biggest weakness.

Someone wrote a comment on my blog and provided tips about studying for the MBE's. This commentator said that each day s/he did 25 MBE's and "journaled" the questions that s/he missed. S/he reviewed this journal regularly to ensure that, on a 2nd or 3rd pass, that s/he was able to correctly answer these questions. I've decided to apply this exam preparation strategy to studying for the MPRE. In November, when exam results are issued, I'll have first-hand evidence about how this strategy worked for me.

I've also discovered that there is a book called, "Strategies and Tactics for the MPRE," a companion book to the MBE test taking strategy book which was the ONE book highly recommended by survey takers. (See sidebar.)

And, for those of you who would quickly like to share your MPRE exam experience, please click here to take my survey:

Click Here to take survey

A list of MPRE resources can be found on the sidebar of my blog.

Solo Paralegal

About one year ago, after leaving my corporate profession, I had to learn how to package my legal skills on a resume. The resume format for a potential lawyer is different than that of an M.B.A. so it took some getting used to. After working with some career counselors from my law school, I "field tested" my resume with practicing attorneys and recruiters and then set out on a path to seek employment as a paralegal.

About two months into this process, and after applying to many paralegal positions, I received two responses during the same day.

One of the interviews was solely on the telephone and it began like this...

"Have you ever done electronic filings in federal court?"

"No."

"Have you ever set aside a default judgment?"

"No."

"Have you ever written a motion to modify child visitation?"

"No."

(I was wondering when he'd ask, "Well, then, what good are you?")

I had to beg off the interview since it was unscheduled and I was enroute to another interview at that time.

After the other interview, I called the attorney back and said, "I've never set aside a default judgment, but, I'll write your motion for free. If you like my work, we can talk a business deal."

"For free?" he asked, skeptically.

"Yes, for free."

"OK. I have to have the motion by Sunday night." (Note, it was Friday afternoon!)

Little did I know that when I returned home, my in-box was exploding with client files. I printed the 150 pages of paper, sat down with expresso (!) and began reading.

By the wee hours on Saturday, I wondered what I had signed up for. But, I headed off to the law library to do research and carried cases home for later consumption.

I realized mid-way that the statute of limitations had expired, and there was only a slim chance that we would overturn the default.

But, twenty hours later, I had a persuasive argument and sent my final motion to the attorney.

I waited expectantly (sort of like waiting for bar exam results) and with butterflies in my stomach.

"I changed four words," he said. He filed the motion that Monday morning.

And, we won the case.

It occurred to me that it is this same entrepreneurial thinking and drive that will help me pass the bar, next time. I can't wait to create a post entitled, "Solo Practitioner hangs out shingle" but I am very grateful for this first opportunity as a solo paralegal in my virtual office. I have gained valuable experience through this apprenticeship, experience that will help my clients when I am a licensed attorney.

Living Lean

Today, rather than wax poetic as I am want to do (and after having smelled the flowers), it is time to get down to basics. It has been nearly one year since leaving my corporate career. Since then I have written various briefs, motions and complaints -- I have the satisfaction of being instrumental in winning these cases with my research and writing skills. I even sat in court with a Bench/Bar panel and assisted in settling a case, all as a paralegal for a supervising, licensed attorney. But, this position does not pay a living wage, and my legal marketing position pays even less. Today I must again resume the pace in my search for positions as a paralegal. (See Job Search Links on my sidebar.)

By end of month, I am moving from a funky little apartment to a small room in a friend's house which I will be renting. Nearly all of my belongings will be put in storage. My computer, printer, bar exam books, a bookshelf and futon will be coming with me. My lifestyle will be similar to the lifestyle that I lived when I was an undergraduate - I occupied a room in a women's boarding house in a university town. I remember being so poor, at that time, that one week all I ate was oatmeal and cinnammon bread and tea.

In some ways, paring down and beginning again is a freeing experience. Yet, it is also frightening. I am no longer in my 20's and I am wondering when my life will turn a corner, again, along that path that I've chosen. I remain hopeful that it will.

The Fox and I

If you look beneath the tree, you'll see the fox hidden among the grasses, almost imperceptible. I am reminded of "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.

It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning" said the fox.

"Good morning" the little prince responded politely although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple tree."

"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," the fox said.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."

"Ah please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought, he added, "What does that mean---'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."

"To establish ties?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world. . ."

The Prince, after taming the fox, learned a great secret...

In memory of Reinhold, May 26, 1948 to Nov. 16, 2006.

Road Less Traveled

Today, I traveled to Point Reyes for the simple pleasure of a long walk. I am also walking to rebuild my health which suffered greatly in my push to prepare for the bar exam. Reflecting back, I wonder if the exam is worth such knashing of teeth or emotional highs and lows or bouts of insomnia. Placing the exam in perspective, albeit a difficult exam, it is simply a hurdle placed in the path of a J.D. who wants to be an attorney. But, again, it is only a hurdle...

Today, I entered the woods in silence. Alone, but not alone for there were some other hikers...It was cool, slightly damp and foggy, but beautiful all the same...

I saw my first California fox. He slipped across my pathway; I glimpsed his tail in my perhipheral vision and I followed him. He stopped in an open field and eyed me. We were both quiet; we watched each other. And, then, he, just as quietly, slipped back into the woods. I felt privileged to have this quiet communication with the fox.

And, then I thought about my life and what brought me to where I am today. It took five long years of evening school to obtain my J.D. - my degree was hard won. My corporation was unappreciative of my educational pursuits. For the first time, my job did not dominate my life.

Today, I have my J.D. and I am saddled with debt. My wage is a fraction of what it was when in my business career. Was it worth it? Should I stop and go back to that same road that I traveled before?

And, then the answer came to me. I had come to a path in the road. One path pointed to upper management in the business world, a world that I know and that I am comfortable in. The other path pointed to a world where I would make far less money but have more meaning in my life. Perhaps this is a naive view of an attorney's job but since leaving my corporate career almost one year ago, I have been involved in supporting an attorney with family law, real estate and personal injury cases, and I have seen the impact that a good attorney can make on his/her clients lives, helping them to resolve issues that they, themselves, are ill equipped to do.

Taking the road less traveled, mid-life, has been extraordinarily difficult. However, I'm looking forward to overcoming this arbitrary hurdle to become a counselor at law because, for the first time in my life, I know that this is what I am meant to do. And, that will make all the difference...

Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth

Then took the other as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet, knowing how way leads onto way
I doubted if I should ever come back

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood
And I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference

Robert Frost

A,B,C,D,E...

To date, there are 31 respondents to the Bar Exam Survey and 11 respondents to the MBE survey. As soon as each survey reaches 35 respondents, I'll summarize and release the collective responses. I think that the results will be interesting, having quickly scanned the results to date. n=35 is the lowest recommended sample size...so keep those responses coming!

A,B,C,D,E...Which One is the Magical Answer?

Having taken PMBR to prepare for the Feb. 2009 California bar examination, when testing day came, I remember sitting down, organizing my sharpened pencils, pulling out the scantron sheet and opening the answer book. To me, the questions looked hard. I was slow to answer the first question; it seemed that my brain just could not gather speed. And, I thought, "I can't do this. I want to leave this exam, just get up, walk out and leave." But, then I answered these thoughts with, "You've spent time preparing for this exam. You know MBE's are not your strong suit, but, plow ahead. Do your absolute best!" So, I did some yogic breathing, pushed these thoughts away, and forged ahead.

When PMBR sent a survey to me about the exam shortly afterwards, I said that there were a number of questions on anti-deficiency law and mortgages, encumbrances on real property, and questions about wills and property not covered in their review course.

When I received my scores, I did as well as I expected. At least, I did not underperform against my own expectations. Now, when people ask me, "What are you doing for your summer vacation?," I'll reply, "Spending my early mornings with MBE's."

"Huh?"

"Long story, dude!"

But, now I need some guidance (and perhaps you do, too). Which one MBE material would you recommend? Please take this brief survey to help me and other repeaters and first-timers, choose their MBE material.

Click Here to take survey

Results from this survey will be published on this blog as soon as 35 or more people have responded to this survey.

And, if you haven't taken my survey about your bar exam experience as a whole (see right sidebar to this blog), please participate. I'd like to have 100 respondents prior to analyzing and publishing the results.

Your answers are confidential; you are not asked for identification. Your collective responses will be summarized and published on this blog.

P.S. Check out the "California Exam Repeater's Blog" for links to MBE materials.

Volunteering and Reduction of Student Debt

I have been following various actions taken by Obama as it relates to volunteering and student loans. A portion of one's student loan can either be deferred or forgiven in exchange for volunteering in 2009 funded AmeriCorps programs and in volunteering for the Peace Corps. There is no volunteer opportunity with the Peace Corps which specifically leverages legal training and the application process is long and arduous, taking about 13 months from start to finish. However, there is an ability to apply for legal related positions through AmeriCorps and the Equal Justice Society, although these positions are limited. Many of these positions require the candidate to have taken the bar examination in the state where the AmeriCorps position is offered but do not, necessarily, require a license. To "google" it, type "AmeriCorps" and "Legal."

In addition, the Equal Justice Society offers various podcasts about managing student loan debt which are featured under the links at this sidebar entitled with the same name.

For those of you who have taken the survey (see upper right side bar), thank you. We are slowly inching up toward 100 respondents and survey results will be summarized on this blog. This is not a marketing effort, but an effort to learn about the exam repeater and non-repeater population, and provide feedback. I am simply a "repeater" trying to glean insights from our collective experience and am affiliated with no bar review course or private tutor. I hope, one day, to be a licensed attorney, just like you. I'll study hard and learn from my mistakes and hope to "knock it out of the park" on the next bar exam that I take. I hope that you do, too!

The Holy Grail?

I am increasingly convinced that a new service needs to be developed in which bar exam takers both RATE and REVIEW bar courses and bar tutors.

First, why do I feel this way? Bar review courses and tutors alike participate in a significant revenue making enterprise. How much $ do they make? If this is not currently quantified by another source, perhaps I can develop an estimate of the market demand (or retain a statistician to do it.) Suffice it to say, the revenue is substantial. If there are 15,000 new bar exam takers in California per year at an estimated average cost of $3,000, that’s $45 Million dollars! If one were to estimate that of the 15,000, about 1/3rd are repeat takers, and assuming that repeat takers do not use a bar review course or tutor, the lower figure is a little over $30 Million.

It seems to me that anyone who has passed the bar exam can hang out a shingle and hawk their services (or books). Bar exam takers hungry to pass the exam, and afraid of the experience (especially repeat takers), will flock to those who promise, “I can help you pass this exam.” However, I have seen few statistics from bar review courses or tutors to back up these promises.

In my quest to find a private tutor, I have been collecting references but collecting these references is hard to do. The tutor will likely provide a reference of those students who have passed the exam but what about those who did not? This is a self-selecting sample, and highly biased. Furthermore, in examining various blogs, bloggers are “shouting out” the names of review companies and tutors in an effort to solicit feedback since there is NO SINGLE SOURCE where exam takers can go to in an effort to learn how “good” the course or tutor really is. One private tutor was vilified by one exam taker, and elevated to “invaluable” by another. This contradictory set of evaluations, however, was sufficient for me to “proceed with caution” as it relates to this particular tutor. Of course, a course or a tutor may receive “bad marks” from people who failed the exam.

In addition, courses or tutors may only take repeaters who came within “inches” of failing the exam and not within “miles.” Again, this is a self-selecting approach to increasing their repeater success rate at passing the bar exam.

For that matter, there is a secondary market for bar exam takers which includes books, lectures, flash cards, and more. While reviews on Amazon.com might be helpful, they are not statistically viable or collected via rigorous market research methodology – these reviews, too, are like the comments offered on blogs. They are interesting, and helpful, but not statistically viable.

Thus, in developing such a rating/review service, one must use traditional market research techniques and random sampling. Since market research was my business for many years, I am well versed in these techniques and given the typical research criteria and “field testing,” I know (not think) that a service can be developed which can judiciously rate/review bar review courses and tutors alike and provide bar exam takers with an independent source of information that can help guide them in selecting the course or tutor that might work best for them. Of course, the individual test taker should still do some research on their own after reviewing the collective reviews and ratings and select a course or tutor that plays to their individual strengths and weaknesses.

Now, to develop a review service, there is more research to be done. I will, therefore, develop a series of small surveys to test the waters and then determine if I have sufficient time and resources to proceed…

In the interim, I invite your comments and concerns, for good or for naught, and look forward to publishing the results of my first, albeit, simple survey with a non-random sample. I’m waiting until there are 100 responses; the response rate is inching forward toward that number and I am already beginning to see a pattern or two. . .For those of you who have responded, thank you!

Being in the Moment

I am learning that "blogging" is addicting. It has been at some of the most difficult moments of my life that I have felt the need to write; it seems to ease the pain. Life, since May 15, 2009, at least for a few days, seemed surreal. I can't be a "lawyer," as Robert Hawley states in the YouTube video below, and yet, being a paralegal is difficult, too. "No J.D.'s apply." It takes the open-mindedness of a hiring manager to look past my degree(s) and experience to take a chance at accepting me into their organization.

Aside from writing, I also take solace in nature. Thus, yesterday, and in an effort to regain my health, I have been hiking. I hiked 5 miles at Pt. Reyes. Alone. Thinking, sometimes, about mountain lions. And seeing examples of survival in nature...a tree, felled by some force of nature, arching up through to the sky in a giant u-shape, with tiny ferns lacing its trunk, and leaves at top pushing and competing with other trees to glimpse the sun.

I came to an opening in the forest, and sat beneath a giant pine tree. There were few hikers; the air, heavy with fog, was silent UNTIL a hawk swooped above me - I heard the air whooshing beneath his wings -- and landed in MY tree. I gazed overhead at his giant wings and he gazed down at me until some hikers, laughing, rounded the corner and this moment between the hawk and I was broken.

Perhaps, I should have spent some time in nature to put my studies into perspective instead of letting the process consume me so that even my dreams were punctuated with the black letter law. I feared not knowing it all, or not doing enough until my bar studies actually became obsessive. This obsessiveness was not helpful; it lead to my defeat at the bar. Now, I think that I will continue to spend a day in nature and make it a priority as I make my path forward.

Learning How to Score

I am obsessed with numbers. The California Bar Exam is a numbers game.

To increase my exam score, I have a quest to know how the bar exam scores are actually calculated. Knowing this process is something that was sorely lacking in my bar review course. Although we had a "sense" of the scoring process, I wanted to know EXACTLY how the numbers worked. I thought (and still think) that if I knew the numbers, I could work to improve my weakest points (MBE) and increase points in my stronger areas (essays). While my strategy was good, my performance in both areas needs improvement.

In my quest to win this game, I developed a bar exam scoring calculator and saved the MBE scaled scores as a PDF file that can both be shared via e-mail. The exam calculator is based on Feb. 2009 scaling. I suspect, without knowing, that the Feb. 2009 scaling is less lenient than the July bar exams, so please use this calculator judiciously.

Me? I like to shoot for numbers. (I wasn't too good a "shot" at my first exam, having undershot the mark, but that doesn't mean that I won't keep trying!)

See "Interesting Links" -- "Winning combinations of bar exam scores."

My summer "vacation" plans: I'll be spending the summer preparing for the Feb. 2010 bar exam by working only on increasing my MBE performance. In September 2009, I will begin a long-term program toward a more holistic exam preparation strategy. The only question is, how am I going to afford a private tutor?

Tough Love

In my search to develop a new plan to study for the bar exam, I interviewed (or shall I say that I was interviewed by?) a private tutor. "Get over the grief!," she said. And added, "clearly you don't know the substantive law" an "insight" which shows her broad-stroke diagnosis which I could get from the commentary on various bar exam blogs. If her tough love did anything, it mad me angry, which may have been her intent. And, anger is better than depression, I'll give her that. But, I'm not interested in a drill sargent who then adds, "I have an L.D. and I did the exam without accomodations!" Bully for you! I didn't know that we were in a pissing match.

I also met with an academic from my ABA school. This love was not soft, not tough, but somewhere in between. "We've got some work to do...we just have to learn to reset your thinking about the exam. The bar graders are simply seeking common sense analysis of the facts. So, if you don't know or remember a rule, don't avoid the issue. Write a rule and develop an analysis around it." This advice was echoed in one of the bar grader interviews (see Interesting Links on my sidebar.) Well, THIS is something that I can do! Now, instead of being daunted by repeating the exam, I am actually EXCITED!

But I was also amazed by one story this academic told me. He said that one of the students was so despondent at failing the exam that his family and friends are highly concerned about him. This man said to me, "You have your life experiences going for you. You can put your failing this exam into perspective but some of the younger bar takers have never failed before." Yes, I have read some of the blogs and some of the exam takers threats of suicide. Failing the bar exam is not something to lose one's life over; it's a challenge, albeit a daunting challenge. But, as my Mom says, "If the horse throws you, get back in that saddle again and ride!" Mom is a veteran horsewoman, beginning with her old Mustang "King" who liked "Orange Crush" and galloping across the fields.

Or as my Dad, now deceased, would probably say, "Daughter, you are intelligent. No, you are brillant. There's no reason that you can't do this. I support you 100% of the way."

P.S. I got the legal marketing position!

Measuring Up

Since discovering that I did not "measure up" to the requirements of the bar examiners, I have been doing much reflecting. While bar passers probably receive lots of accolades, those who do not pass the bar exam seem to be met with "dead silence." While there are a few people who may send a "condolence" message, generally, there is a "deafening silence" (an oxymoron if there ever was one!) This leads me to the point of my thoughts today; repeaters don't speak about failing the exam because they are ashamed OR because they feel like failures OR because they are worried about job implications if they are currently employed with a firm.

But, this silence is not good. When 66% of the people failed the exam in February 2009, what resources do they look to to discover a way forward toward passing the bar without TALKING about it? Of course, there are LOTS of bar review courses that advertise that THEY are the clear answer for a repeater, but these firms have a vested interest in making revenue. These firms may or may not be THE ANSWER for the repeater.

Were it not for these blogs, especially "Measuring Life" and also the Grand Poobah's blog, both of which I am following, I would take little comfort in this isolating silence.

Perhaps if there was not a cloque of shame around failing the exam, more people who pass on their second try?

As to my meditation, I've decided to take the Feb. 2010 bar. This is counter the advice of most blogs and many review courses, however, I need to focus on living life for a change. Moreover, as a contract paralegal, I am currently doing the work beyond that of an Associate in a larger firm. In supporting a sole practitioner, I am truly apprenticing in the law and not only learning how to serve notice, file motions with the court, and summarize case files, but I am writing respondent's briefs in appellate court, propounding discovery, writing winning motions, and participating in bench/bar settlement conferences. This is great training for the actual exam (it served me well in the performance test) and it reinforces my desire to be an attorney, some day, just not right now.

I do know that I want to build on my work in which I learned the law for the exam, and spend time: 1) increasing my MBE performance, 2) writing killer essays, and 3) continually memorizing black letter law until I can recite the rules in my sleep!

Make Your Experience Known

I used my market research skills to develop an initial survey about YOUR collective exam experiences. See the right side of my blog to TAKE MY SURVEY NOW (click on the link below.) Once I have 100 responses, I'll publish the results on this blog.

Must Be Marathoner

Only a person who has taken the California Bar examination really understands how greuling the examination is and how much physical stamina taking the exam requires. In my quest to understand my performance, I know that I entered the exam physically and mentally exhausted.

I had sprained my back from too much sitting, studing for the bar exam. I was worried, at exam time, about not being able to sit on a metal chair (even with the pillow allowed), for so many hours. By the luck of the draw, I was able to negotiate a good chair which, although not painless, was a lifesaver in taking the exam.

The first morning of the exam, Examsoft failed to work; I had been provided the wrong instructions. Although I was able to resolve the computer issues, my hands were shaking, heart pounding, and I remember how my mind raced through the first essay; I was panicked about losing time. A little yogic breathing helped restore my sanity, but I was not "on my game."

The following day, family litigation and a vitriolic naysayer entered my mental arena; it took hours to regain my calm. We settled the case the following week, with three attorneys required to enforce a court order. These were deeply emotional issues.

These are all the things that my bar tutor discussed with me last night. A few weeks after the bar exam, sure enough, I sprained my back yet again. My blood pressure escalated and I developed acid reflux from the stress.

"Acch!" you say.

"Too much information!"

But, perhaps these brutally honest thoughts are something to consider as you, yourself, study for the equally brutal California bar examination.

What I have learned:

1. Enter the exam on top of your physical game. Exercise religiously. Eat well.

2. Even if you are prepared, if life events get you off your game, delay the exam. You need to be on top of your mental game.

3. Although I wrote practice essays and discussed them with my tutor, I needed to see my essays edited and graded with brutal honesty. I'm going to subscribe to baressays.com to see, first-hand, what a '50', '60' and '70+' grade looks like.

4. My largest weakness is the MBE. Now, I already know your comments. They range from, "you don't know the black letter law" to "you are not intelligent," neither of which are true. My mind, the mind of an artist, interprets multiple choice questions differently; I used to argue with my undergraduate and graduate professors about the ambiguous wording of their mulitple choice questions. I would win my point. But, MBE's haunted me throughout law school. To my credit, I did score 7 pts higher than my initial practice exams. It will take MY mind months of practice to really learn this game BUT I am committed to do it.

For those folks who have NOT taken the exam, please DON'T advise me to take another state's bar exam. I am where I want to be, at this stage of my life, and I know my life's game-plan. I am also not a 20 something or even a 30 something gal. It has taken years of preparation to be privileged to take the California Bar Exam - the LSAT exam and a J.D. degree. There's no stopping me now!

As to when I will take the exam (July 2009 or February 2010), the jury is still out...but I'll have my final answer by the end of this week. Ommmm...

Dance Card and Numbers Gal

In addition to doing contract paralegal work, and being a volunteer for a legal aid service, I have also been seeking out other opportunities. This job search involves an element of gutsiness and creativity. Today, I have an interview with a firm that is interested in leveraging my marketing and legal background, albiet via an internship position. However, the big question this week is, do I take the July 2009 bar or defer retaking the exam until next February?

I have been "repackaging" my skill set as a paralegal; the J.D. title is often a deterrant. Law firms believe that they should not invest in developing an employee as a paralegal who really wants to be an attorney. I can understand that logic, however, perhaps if the firm locked the J.D. applicant into a one year contract, both parties would benefit. It is MY perception that law firms should begin to think out of the box given the current market economy.

As to Chinese water torture, I have received my exam scores. There can be no mistake about them. I have developed a bar exam score calculator in MS Excel which reasonably replicates the scaled score; I say reasonably since the examiners have a different scaled score for each MBE raw score. However, a "numbers" gal, I have to know how the scoring works and have been frustrated with my bar review course mentors who seem incapable of demystifying the scoring process. If you, dear reader, would like a copy of my calculator, I can send it with instructions along with the bar examiners scaled MBE scoring sheet. But, I waive all liability!

There's no mystery here, except to know what went wrong with my performance after I had invested so much time and practice into my preparations for the February 2009 bar exam. Hypnosis, anyone? For those negative commentators on the Grand Poobah's blog, I would argue that it is not for lack of intelligence. Some people know how to play the game; I'm not a great game player and never have been. I just need to know how to play THIS game!

I am trying to piece together a go-forwards plan for the long haul ahead while balancing my dwindling financial resources. The State Bar and I shall dance again, but when?

P.S. I was only musing about hypnosis BUT there IS a bar review course that links in a hypnotist (for real!) See "Interesting Links" on the right sidebar of this blog.

Achieving Dreams

This morning, the sun filled my room with a blindingly bright light. I found my cat, Sherlock (who I named for his investigative mind), had pushed the screen door to my bedroom window out onto the balcony. Sherlock was laying on the cool cement floor, preening himself in the sun. Looking out from my balcony, I could see houseboats on the Bay and Sunday morning traffic winding up the highway. Today is a day about dreams and about achievements.

Digging Too Deep?

This past week, I received an e-mail from a friend who attended law school. My friend failed the California bar exam four times, her boyfriend broke up with her, and she is financially destitute due to her investment in school and bar exam preparation. I called her, shortly afterwards, and proposed that we have dinner together, my treat. She said that well wishes, gifts, and information has been coming her way, and that she is amazed by the generosity of her friends and friends of friends.

As to the bar exam, she no longer wants to speak of it, so, when she causually mentioned (out of sheer politeness) that exam results must be available, I just as causually mentioned that I had also failed my first time out. She had no advice except to say that she missed passing by 3 points her second try and that her performance varied. The first exam she "rocked" the MBE's, while the second exam, she excelled on her essay performance.

If I have any observations, they are that she is very intelligent and very analytic. She does not have a superficial view of the law, but her understanding of it is deep. She is detailed oriented. Her deeply analytic nature is similar to mine; reflecting back, perhaps I, too, dug too deep instead of gaining the broad brush strokes of the law.

The bar examiners draw out this process, one drop of information at a time, chinese water torture. Please tell me where I went wrong and what I need to do. I have one, overarching goal - I want to be an attorney!

Brief Moment in Time

I understand, now, why she told me of the lions in Africa. And described the smell of rich, dark coffee brewing in the morning. And how it felt to drink this coffee from a china cup and look out from the veranda on to a land where zebra grazed in the distance and lions waited quietly, watching, while the silver clinked against the porcelain plates and she ate her jellied toast.

She instilled in me, from the time I was a little boy just old enough to imagine, a desire to explore this country yet I never did know why she, herself, had not made her own sojourn to this part of Africa. I knew that she had wanted to. I thought, perhaps, that she preferred her imagination to the reality she might encounter.

Lady in Waiting

It has now been about five hours since I, and repeatedly, input my application and file number into the California Bar exam web site. At first glance, I was sure that the state bar had made a mistake, however, I printed the evidence; it is now sitting nearby, in black and white, and not on some vacuous screen.

I called my bar exam tutor (who was surprised by my 9:00 a.m. call) who said, "Well, sometimes they make mistakes."

"How often?" I asked.

"I can't say how often but it is not uncommon. You should wait until you get your scores through the mail."

Regardless, I think that the probability of error is very, very low. I do not want to hold out a thin thread of hope, a fictitious life-line.

I'd like to know now my scores now - not days from now - so that I can begun to diagnose my areas of strength and weakness and map out my strategy for the next exam. And, while I stared at the words, "applicant's name is not on the pass list," early this morning, I had resolved not to retake the exam and fell, Alice-in-Wonderland like, into a pool of tears. But, then, a new feeling overtook me, one of resolving to win, and not to fail. I think that I should begin by swimming . . .

Balancing Act

I finally screwed up the courage to examine my results and found that my life will continue to hang in the balance. Shall we dance again?

February 2009 California Bar Examination
The information that you have entered does not match with a name on the pass list. This may have occurred because:

1) the applicant was not successful on the examination,
2) the numbers you entered are incorrect,
3) a registration number was entered instead of a file number, or
4) the person did not take the examination.

Turning to the Law

Having been raised by an architect and a fine artist, I grew up dancing near the piano that my father played, a poor imitation of a ballerina. Gangly and uncoordinated, I could, at least, pretend to be a dancer. . .my father took me out to architectural job sites and explained how certain beams took the building load and how skylights were added to let in natural light. As for my mother, every summer we toured art fairs and we babysat her work on display, waiting for juried results, and for that special buyer who respected my mother's work and wanted to add it to his or her collection. We read Shakespere and playacted roles one year -- I was around nine years old. And if I wanted to understand the meaning of a word, my mother would point to the dictionary and say, "Look it up!" While this advice was well intentioned, perhaps my mother forgot that a dictionary meaning referred to other words, many of which I also had to "look up" until an hour had been spent to tease out the meaning of the original word I had questioned. From these beginnings, I wonder why I have turned to the law.