Measuring Up

Since discovering that I did not "measure up" to the requirements of the bar examiners, I have been doing much reflecting. While bar passers probably receive lots of accolades, those who do not pass the bar exam seem to be met with "dead silence." While there are a few people who may send a "condolence" message, generally, there is a "deafening silence" (an oxymoron if there ever was one!) This leads me to the point of my thoughts today; repeaters don't speak about failing the exam because they are ashamed OR because they feel like failures OR because they are worried about job implications if they are currently employed with a firm.

But, this silence is not good. When 66% of the people failed the exam in February 2009, what resources do they look to to discover a way forward toward passing the bar without TALKING about it? Of course, there are LOTS of bar review courses that advertise that THEY are the clear answer for a repeater, but these firms have a vested interest in making revenue. These firms may or may not be THE ANSWER for the repeater.

Were it not for these blogs, especially "Measuring Life" and also the Grand Poobah's blog, both of which I am following, I would take little comfort in this isolating silence.

Perhaps if there was not a cloque of shame around failing the exam, more people who pass on their second try?

As to my meditation, I've decided to take the Feb. 2010 bar. This is counter the advice of most blogs and many review courses, however, I need to focus on living life for a change. Moreover, as a contract paralegal, I am currently doing the work beyond that of an Associate in a larger firm. In supporting a sole practitioner, I am truly apprenticing in the law and not only learning how to serve notice, file motions with the court, and summarize case files, but I am writing respondent's briefs in appellate court, propounding discovery, writing winning motions, and participating in bench/bar settlement conferences. This is great training for the actual exam (it served me well in the performance test) and it reinforces my desire to be an attorney, some day, just not right now.

I do know that I want to build on my work in which I learned the law for the exam, and spend time: 1) increasing my MBE performance, 2) writing killer essays, and 3) continually memorizing black letter law until I can recite the rules in my sleep!