Seeing my name on the pass list was surreal. I was so prepared for the news that I failed the bar exam, that I was unprepared for a different reality that I actually succeeded in passing the exam.
So, because my mail goes to a Post Office Box, I was now terrified that there could be yet another issue preventing me from pursuing my dreams. Arising from a massive hang-over and a rebelling stomach, I pulled on my clothes and drove 30 minutes to the post office. I opened my PO box with trepidation and pulled out mounds of mail.
And, there, in the midst of my mail was a letter from the State Bar Admissions Office. My stomach rolled over...and my heart pounded as I tore open the envelope to find the following letter:
"Dear Counselor:
Welcome to the State Bar of California.
I congratulate you. Admission to the California Bar requires applicants to meet the most demanding professional standards in our nation, and you have demonstrated that you meet these standards. You passed the most difficult bar examination in the country, satisfied one of the most stringent ethics tests, and met each of the State's moral character requirements....You have reason to be proud of your hard work and accomplishments..."
This is what I have lived for the past eight years - five years in an evening law school program, the death of my father, the death of my mother - expenditures of thousands of dollars and enduring -- for the first time in my life -- poverty.
And, yet, I had faith in myself and in my dreams. . .
And, yet, despite all the odds against me, I succeeded in accomplishing my dreams. Now, I shall look forward to journaling the creation of my own practice. . .
But, before I write about being a lawyer -- now that I can call myself that -- I will, as you have requested -- write about my game plan to passing the bar. However, tonight, tonight I shall revel in my new reality and in setting my dreams in motion as the news of passing the California Bar exam sinks in and overtakes my soul.
Ah, and for those of you who are facing score reports and a different gut-wrenching reality, take heed and know that you CAN do this. You CAN see your name on the pass list. It takes hard work and it takes faith in yourself. Believing is a good part of the passing equation.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
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1 comment:
Congratulations! I got a bit tearful when you mentioned the letter from the bar and about losing your parents during this journey. I hope someone special will be there at your swear in ceremony this Friday. You should be very proud of yourself for having faith despite life difficulty. I hope to follow your path for Feb 2012 exam...so looking forward to moving on :)
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