Don't Fall in Love (Until After the Bar Exam)

Managing one's emotions during this process of preparing for the California Bar examination can be a "roller coaster ride." Managing the people around you can contribute to the ups and downs or can provide a support system or both. For those surrounded by "significant others," or partners, or spouses, this could be a time when absence does not make the heart grow fonder but when your daily/intensive bar studies test the foundation of your relationship. It takes a secure partner, SO, or spouse to provide the bar taker with the "mental space" required to take on, delve into and prepare for the California Bar examination. In the scheme of things, the 8-weeks or so of intensive study/practice (more weeks for some of us), is a tiny blip of time in one's relationship, after which, if a good foundation is laid, you can return to your normal life of "routine." (I think of Meryl Streep playing Francesca in "Bridges of Madison County," when she forgoes leaving Robert Kincaid, the man with whom she felt a seamless connection, to resume her life of routine with her husband and children, tending to the garden, making sun tea, milking the cows, making dinner.)

In some small way, unpartnered today, the stress of working and simultaneously preparing for the exam has tested my relationship with my housemate. Demanding of attention, and lacking the drive to pursue her passions, we have discovered we are on two opposite ends of the spectrum -- and I am moving out at end of month to rent a room from a friend of a friend who is like me - pure drive and passion for life.

And, even embarking on the long path through law school, albiet older than most, I found that dating and law school did not mix. I had to place my studies over my relationship; no one likes playing second fiddle to another's career for the long haul. So, in fairness, I gave up hopes of a relationship until after school and after the bar exam.

But, then, this giving up has been a sacrifice, because there could be no better feeling than being in love, and loving someone else deeply. (I am still hopeful that I, too, will find that "seamless connection" again. . .but only after taking the bar examination. Come August 2010, let the chips fall where they may but living life will be my priority (and, did I mention that I plan to take the Feb. 2011 bar exam in another state?) I'd like a fall-back plan, just as a matter of good planning.)